Monday, August 7, 2006

Prompt 1.C: First/ Talking Muses


She was more than just my wife, and the mother to my children. Danijela was my first love, my only love.  We met when I was 18 and she was just 16, for over a year we met in secret, the love we felt for each other ours alone. When we were together it was as if the world seemed to stop and all we could talk about was the day when we could finally be together.

The day that I asked her father for her hand in marriage was one that would forever change who we were.  No more would we think of ourselves as individuals, no more would we think of what we would do as affecting only one of us, as soon as Danijela turned 18 we would become man and wife.

Because Danijela and I were both raised as Catholics, and she, and her family were quite religious, there was also another first to our wedding, or should I say to our wedding night.  Yes, as old fashioned as it is to admit to, Danijela and I not only consummated our marriage that first night, we both also lost our virginity. There had never been any question of that being the case of course, and I don't even think it entered my mind for the very reason that I knew it would be an insult to both her and her family to have even asked it of her before then.

I wonder sometimes what our future would have held had the war not taken it from us.  Our first child, Jasna would have been old enough to be thinking of marriage and possibly her first child and Marko would have been the age his mother was when we met.

I can't change what happened to my family, I can't stop living my life because they are no longer here to live theirs, even though for many years I did just that.  What I can do and will do now is live mine for them.  I've recently learned that I'm going to become a father again and I couldn't be happier.  For most of the last 15 years I have kept the memories of Danijela, Jasna, and Marko to myself, but no more.  My newest son or daughter deserves to know the brother and sister he or she will never meet and for the first time I can openly say, I look forward to sharing them.

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