:::Shakes head::: Weaver set this up didn't she? She's always doing that, setting up appointments with the hospital psychiatrists or psychologists because she is convinced that either my personal life or the pressures of work are becoming too much for me. It's not, and I don't need to be here, which isn't to say that I haven't needed to be at other times despite what I might have said. But, that isn't the question is it?
Self-guilt...that would be my answer. I'm a doctor, I more than most should understand how harmful this can be to a person, but that doesn't stop me from being a victim of it. I don't know that any of us choose willingly to have it befall us, it's more the kind of thing that sneaks up on you while your mind is overwhelmed by something else. I doubt too it's something you'll find that someone suffers from on it's own, likely it'll be a companion illness, shared in my case with depression, and a mind numbing sense of loss that seemed to prevent me from letting go of a life that was no longer mine to keep.