I've done things in my life that I'm not proud of, that night of the staff Christmas party at Susan's is one of those. I couldn't tell you most of what happened that evening, I do know Abby was with John at the time and I wanted to be anywhere but there.
I started drinking almost as soon as I walked in the door, like I thought that would help make the situation more tolerable. I shouldn't have been there, I wasn't in the mood to socialize I wasn't in the mood to watch John and Abby together, and I definitely wasn't in the mood to be present when the gift exchange began. I think I still held onto the hope that there might be something between us, and her gift reflected that. I don't know how I possibly thought that drinking would make things easier, when in truth, the night only served to set in motion things far worse.