Maybe because it was the last one I had with them, but, I remember Marko's first Christmas so strongly. It was his only Christmas he knew. We were in Vukovar already, away from our families and we didn't have much money, but, we had gotten a small tree for Jasna and Marko so we could wrap their presents and leave them under it for a few days before. Just small things, a doll for Jasna, a stuffed bear for Marko, some fruit and candy. We'd saved for weeks so Danijela could make fish the night before and we could have turkey and other special foods for Christmas dinner. It had snowed that morning so everything was buried under a blanket of white, we took the kids sledding during the day, then after dinner we all went to Christmas Mass. I remember holding Jasna in my lap afterward while Danijela held Marko, they had opened their presents and we were just watching the lights on the tree. I remember thinking how beautiful they looked and in that moment I couldn't imagine that our life could be any more perfect.
I look back at it now and I can't help wondering if it was that way because God knew he would be taking them away from me and that was his gift to me. Even if it isn't true I like to think that might be the reason.