Wednesday, December 12, 2007

14.5. Talk about a time when you were truly alone./Writers Muses

I had lost all track of time, I only knew that I was exhausted, my son and my wife were already gone, and if I stopped breathing for her, my little girl would join them. The smoke was everywhere, burning my eyes, choking me, a by product of the small fires that still burned in the ruins of what had been our apartment, and which offered the only source of light and heat. I couldn't remember when I'd last heard the sound of anyone else, I'd long ago given up calling for help, my throat was raw, I had to save what breath I had left for Jasna and in the end I failed her.

I don't think I understood how lonely I could feel until that moment when I realized that I had to stop. When I raised my mouth from my five year old daughter's and knew that she would never again laugh, she would never again smile, she would never again take another breath. As I closed her eyes, and looked down at her, for a few minutes I could pretend she was sleeping. Ultimately, I couldn't deny the truth, I would never again feel her arms around me, I would never hear her voice call my name, like my wife and baby boy, she was gone.

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