Sunday, August 26, 2007

August Prompt A: Dreams/Ineffable Fandom

A) Getting your dreams, strange as it seems, can be a little, well, complicated -- Wicked

When I was young, the dreams I had for my life were simple ones, to marry, to finish school and obtain my license to practice medicine, and to start a family with the woman I knew I would spend my life with.  I had no reason to doubt that I would be successful, the goals were ones that were no different than many others my age, no different than those of our fathers before us, with the exception of our choice of careers.

If only I had known it wasn't going to last, but, I couldn't know that. Nobody plans for their life to unravel, nobody plans for their world to completely fall apart.

When you lose everything you have, you give up on your dreams, or at least you tell yourself you do.  What good is it to plan for a new future when you can't let go of those who are tied to the one you no longer have?  You try to convince yourself you're ready to move on, but, regardless of what your head tells you, it's your heart that's in control, and nothing you do can change that.

There's a familiar saying, "Time heals all wounds," maybe that's true, because eventually you do begin to dream about your future again.  At first you don't even realize it's happening, you may even deny it to yourself, you have to, because to admit it is to betray the memory of those no longer with you.  Gradually though the feelings of guilt subside, and as they do you find not only can you dream about the future to come, you can finally open yourself up to living it.

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