Saturday, September 16, 2006

Stressed/100 Moods

Title: Is this it?
Fandom: ER
Characters: Luka Kovac,
Prompt: Stressed
Word Count: 510
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers to 21 Guns
Summary: Has Luka finally been given the one thing he had prayed for all those years earlier?
He couldn't breathe...oh, God. As he fell to the floor the realization hit, the one thing he'd always thought he had wanted since Danijela and his children had died was almost here and he was afraid. He wanted to scream, wanted to console Sam, but all he could do was watch in horror as she begged and pleaded to save his life.

He wanted to scream as first their blows and then the well placed kicks landed, wanted to struggle as they lifted him and tied him to the gurney, but he could do neither. Oh, God, it hurt so bad.

He couldn't breathe, and as the seconds ticked away he could feel his life slipping away with them. Why now? Why now when he was so close to being a father, so close to re-capturing the one thing he had never thought he would reclaim.

He wanted to help Sam, try to calm her, talk her through the steps that she was repeatedly trying and failing to accomplish. He didn't want her blaming herself for his death but he knew if she didn't succeed she would.

And then they were gone, and he was alone, left in the dark to die. Was this how it was going to be then, after all those years of waiting? All the years he had chosen not to live his life now, when he was so close to starting over, no, he wasn't going without a fight.

He screamed at his body to do something, anything, and miraculously it did, granted it was only a twitch, but it was something. He pulled at the restraints, the movements not even visible, but he couldn't give up, he wouldn't. Then, the gurney moved, and it only made him more determined.

When he heard the gunshots, he practically threw himself against the restraints, oh, God, no...let her be safe, let them be safe. If he lost them both, not again...he fought to keep the tears back, channeling the feelings into his efforts to free himself before they sucked him back toward the grief that had consumed him for so many years after Danijela and the children's deaths.

He'd never know what drew his eyes to the window at that moment, but as he saw Abby he re-found the hope that for a moment had begun to slip away from him. She was safe, the baby was safe...oh, God, no.

He couldn't miss seeing the bloody hand-print she left on the glass, anymore then he change that he was forced to lie there and watch helplessly as she slid to the ground

No! The scream was a mental one, and he threw himself against the side of the gurney as he made it. Had it not been blocked by the intubation tube in his throat he was sure that it was one that would have been heard though-out the hospital. Someone had to help her, help them, he couldn't lose them both, he couldn't lose a second family.

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