Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Prompt 25A: How forgiving are you? /Canon Muses

I wish I could say I was one of those people who "forgive and forget," but I'm not. I think those very same things that allowed me to fall in love with Danijela at first sight, that made it impossible for me to walk away from the guilt over her and our children's deaths, are also what make it so difficult for me to let things go. 

I think about the first time that Abby and I were together and the things we said to each other on the night we broke up.  The words we hurled at each other that night were meant to sting just as much as any slap to the face would have.  I think about the weeks and months after that night, the way we tip-toed around each other and how difficult it was for both of us to apologize. 

I'd like to say I learned from the mistakes I made in my early years, but I don't know that I did, Curtis Ames has been the proof of that.  Even knowing he is gone and no longer able to hurt me or my family I still find myself unable to forgive him for what he put my wife and son through on that night. I think I can live with what he did to me only because it was my decision to go with him, he didn't force me, I chose to go to save my wife and son.  Do I forgive him, I don't know, but I can live with it, I have to, what other choice do I have?



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