For years I hated playgrounds, it wasn't just the sound of the laughter that bothered me, though that was a large part of it. No, it was listening to so many children enjoying something so simple and knowing how often my own children had begged to be allowed that same small pleasure, and all I could do was refuse them.
I went out of my way to avoid going anywhere near them for so long after leaving Vukovar. The memories stirred by the sights and sounds of them were just too strong.
Time changes things though and with Joe's birth I'm finally able to begin laying those parts of my past to rest. As much as I might want to protect Joe from harm, I realize that I can't prevent him from living his life because of what happened to Jasna and Marko. Changing like this isn't easy, and I expect I'll make more then a few mistakes trying to find the balance between my past and his future as he grows older, I can only hope he'll understand.
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