182: You've just won an award! What would it be and why?/Theatrical Muse Challenge

"Tata...open." 2 year old Joe Kovac started to climb onto the bed thrusting the roughly wrapped packed toward his father, even before the man had fully opened his eyes. "Open, Tata."

"Good morning to you too, Joe." Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Luka reached for the package before realizing that his wife stood in the doorway of the bedroom watching the scene unfold. "Morning to you too."

"I tried to get him to wait but he wanted to give it to you now." Abby smiled as she offered her explanation. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Please." As he accepted her offer he sat up in the bed, making room for his young son beside him with the action. "What's this, Joe? It's not my birthday."

"Tata..." The boy recognized the teasing for what it was even at his young age and instead of saying more simply tapped the small package with his hand, smiling despite his growing impatience . "Open, Tata."

"Okay, okay did you make this yourself?" His own smile grew as he started to loosen the ribbon, revealing more of the hand-decorated newsprint that was wrapped around the small package.

"I like your paper." Taking care not to tear it he eased each of the pieces of tear loose, then laid it to the side before moving to the box itself.

"Is it a new car?" He glanced over at Joe at the question.

"No car in house, car too big, Tata." No longer satisfied with simply sitting beside his father and waiting, the toddler climbed onto his lap and opened the box himself.

"Here's your coffee." Abby sat the cup on the nightstand before taking a seat beside him.

"Joe..." Luka's smile broadened as he lifted the clay square bearing his son's small hand-print from the box.

"World's Best Father." He wiped at his eyes before wrapping his arms around the toddler, drawing him into a hug then giving him a kiss.

"I love it, thank you, Joe." He passed the plaque to Abby so she could see it before he turned his attention back to Joe. "It's the best present I've ever gotten."

Prompt 14A: What is your relationship with your siblings?/Canon Muses

There was a time when my brother and I were inseparable.  When we were boys I looked up to him, he was older then I was and everything he did I wanted to do, everywhere he went I wanted to go, he was my hero.  If you had told me then that there would come a time when we would not even talk I would never have believed you, but that's exactly what happened.

After I lost my family I felt like my life was over. When I left the displaced person's camp after leaving Vukovar, I tried going back to Zagreb, and then to my Grandparent's farm, but there were too many memories and as much as I hated to leave I knew that I couldn't stay.

Janko and I argued for days over my decision, he accused me of running away, but I didn't see it that way, I couldn't see it that way.  Leaving was the only thing that made sense in a world that hadn't made sense since my family had been killed.  In my mind everything about Croatia was tied to Danijela and my children, and only by leaving could I start living again.

I miss my brother, miss what we had between us, but, I had to make a choice between staying in a place that stirred memories that brought such sadness, or leaving in the hopes that I could find myself again.  My feelings about him had never changed, but I had, I guess I always hoped that one day he would understand. Maybe one day he still will.

June Prompt 1: Fate Quote/ Creative Muses

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends. - Jacques Delille

"How long have you and John been friends?" Luka opened his eyes at Gillian's question, not quite sure he had heard her correctly over the sound of the helicopter as it took flight.

"Pardon?" He started to push himself up on his elbow only to have her stop him.

"Just lay still. I asked you, how long you and John had been friends?" The Canadian nurse adjusted his IV before retaking her seat next to where he was laying.

"I don't know that we're really friends." Even as he began to clarify the complicated relationship he and Carter had between them he realized how it must sound to her.

"We've worked together for years." He paused, struggling for a way to explain.

"He risked his life coming back here to find your body when he thought you were dead, that sounds like someone who is more then just a workmate." Gillian reached for his hand as she spoke, though she tried not to look at the bandages that concealed the raw wounds that encircled his wrists. Reminders of the electrical cords that had been used to bind them while he's been held by the Mai Mai.

"It's hard to explain." Luka lifted his free hand to rub his eyes as he once more tried to explain.

"Abby and I used to be together, I think he thought she still wanted to be with me, or that I wanted to be with her." He released a weary sigh, the simple act of talking draining him of what little strength he had.

"Luka, he didn't have to come back here, he didn't have to put his life in danger by going back to Matenda or finding the Mai Mai, and he certainly didn't have to arrange for the transport to get you home. It sure sounds like Carter is more then just someone you work with." Even as she searched for more answers Gillian realized she wasn't likely to get them, Luka was fading, and the discussion was one they would have to continue later.

"I know..." Luka's words were growing softer as his fatigue grew stronger.

"Maybe Abby sent him...have to ask..." The words drifted off as his breathing slowed and his eyes closed.

"Maybe..." Even as she offered the compromise she found herself doubting it, she'd seen how Carter had reacted to the news of what had happened to Luka and Patrique over the several days she had been with him. She'd seen his reaction when they'd reached Matenda, when they'd found Patrique, and when they'd learned Luka was alive, no...he wasn't there because someone else wanted him there. As she brushed Luka's bangs off of his forehead Gillian found herself smiling, Luka might not realize it, but, he had a friend in John Carter, a friend who was willing to put his own life on the line for him, she should be so lucky.

Prompt 1.61.2 Extreme conditions/Realm of the Muse

"Dr. Luka." Sakima knelt on the dirt floor next to where Kovac lay.

"I have some water for you." She held the metal cup of water to his lips, letting the liquid dribble between them, as she tried to rouse him. For two days they had been in the tiny windowless hut, two days during which they had been all but ignored except for the brief moment when the blanket had been pulled aside and the pan of water and cup of pulverized maze that was supposed to feed the three of them for who knew how long had been thrust into her hands. She was worried about her daughter, but she was equally concerned about the doctor who had saved the young girl's life, and it was at his side she now knelt as she tried again to bring him around. The malaria he had contracted at Matenda was growing worse and without medication; she tried to force the thoughts aside.

"Dr. Luka, please...you need to drink something." Having already seen too many die from untreated illnesses, and fearing he could easily be next she tore at the hem of her skirt, ripping loose a section of the thin fabric. How many days had it been since he had taken anything? She had to get him to eat or at least drink something. Dipping the scrap of cloth in the water she squeezed the excess water from it, then pressed it to his cracked lips. It wasn't much, but hopefully it would be enough to at least allow him to hold on until help came. If help came. She couldn't give up on the hope that somehow they would survive this.

"That's it, just a little more." As he first came around enough to suck on it and then opened his eyes a crack, she smiled in response. She had no way of knowing what plans the Mai Mai had for them, but, she would do whatever she had to if it would help her daughter and the man who had saved her life survive. Dipping her fingers in the water she brushed them across his fevered brow, only to have him lift his still bound hands to her, stopping her hand.

"Please?" The word was little more then a whisper as he made the plea, then offered up his hands to her again.

"I'm sorry, I can't...I don't know what they would do if I did." Knowing what she'd already suffered through at the clinic, she shot a quick glance to her daughter then back to him as she covered the electrical wire that was wrapped around his wrists with her hand. No,the risk was just too great, she couldn't take the chance that Chance might suffer that same fate. Applying a slight amount of pressure she coaxed him to lower them again

"Maybe, the next time they come back I can ask, but, I have to think of Chance." She swatted a fly away as she watched his face for his reaction, then let her eyes drop as he simply closed his eyes again without saying anything more.

"Dr. Luka...I'm sorry, if I could be sure that Chance would be safe, that they wouldn't hurt her..." She paused in mid-sentence as he opened his eyes again.

"Chance?" It was hard to tell if he understood what she was saying, or even if he knew where he was, especially as he seemed to be looking through her rather then at her.

"That's right, Dr. Luka, Chance." She moved slightly so that he could see her daughter sitting on the other side of the small dark room. Dropping the scrap of fabric, she reached for the cup and held it to his lips again.

"Just a little more...for Chance." If she could get him to take just a few more swallows.

"That's it." She nodded her encouragement as he drank, then withdrew the cup as he turned his head and closed his eyes again. After setting it aside she drew the thin blanket up over his shoulder, then retreated back to the other side of the room where her daughter sat.

"Are you hungry daughter?" She reached for the cup of maze with the question., they would survive, she would see to it.

June Prompt 001: Dreams/Artistic License

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. --William Dement

"Tata...make them stop!" Jasna's scream tore him from sleep's arms and thrust him abruptly into consciousness, forcing him upright as he searched first for his young daughter and then the source of her cries, before he went to her.

"What is it baby?" He'd no sooner left the warmth of the blankets and gathered her into his arms then an explosion outside provided the answer for him.

"Make them stop!" Her plea was muffled as she grabbed hold of his shirt and buried her face in his chest.

"Shhh, Jasna, shhh." Laying a kiss on the top of her hair he tried to soothe her, first with quiet whispers, then by rubbing her back as he held her on his lap and rocked her.

"Luka..." Another voice came louder...muffling even the sound of the explosions as she called his name.

"Danijela?" Her name came instantly to his lips even as the remnants of the dream slipped away and he too late realized his mistake.

"It was just a dream, Luka." Her fingers brushed through his hair as she spoke and even as he rolled over to face her he found himself dreading the look he might find on her face.

"I'm sorry." The apology came automatically before he raised a hand to touch her face.

"You don't have to apologize." Sure that he was now fully awake, Abby lay back down beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't think so." He rubbed his eyes, then moved closer to her so he could rest his head on her breast.

"Luka...I don't mind, if you need to talk about it." Even as she asked Abby wasn't sure she wanted to know what haunted her husband's sleep. While they were making progress on talking about his past she had no doubt there was much more that he hadn't shared with her. Maybe she should trust him and let it be, when he was ready to tell her about the dreams he would, or at least she hoped he would, but not today. Before he could say anything she lay a finger to his lips and shook her head.

"Go back to sleep, Luka." She released him from further conversation as she combed her fingers through his hair. "Shh, go back to sleep..."

13B: Park/Playground for Canon Muses

For years I hated playgrounds, it wasn't just the sound of the laughter that bothered me, though that was a large part of it. No, it was listening to so many children enjoying something so simple and knowing how often my own children had begged to be allowed that same small pleasure, and all I could do was refuse them.

I went out of my way to avoid going anywhere near them for so long after leaving Vukovar. The memories stirred by the sights and sounds of them were just too strong.

Time changes things though and with Joe's birth I'm finally able to begin laying those parts of my past to rest. As much as I might want to protect Joe from harm, I realize that I can't prevent him from living his life because of what happened to Jasna and Marko. Changing like this isn't easy, and I expect I'll make more then a few mistakes trying to find the balance between my past and his future as he grows older, I can only hope he'll understand.

 

Describe your perfect day/Theatrical Muse Challenge

I never thought I would say it, but more often then not, I already have what I consider perfect days. Maybe it's because Abby and I are so happy, maybe it's knowing that I've finally realized what I need to be doing in regard to my work, most certainly though it's anything that involves spending time with my son Joe. 

I look back at all of the wasted years, when I was lost to depression caused by the loss of my first family. I look back on those years when I tempted fate by engaging in behaviors that went against everything I believed in, and worse when I taunted death itself and I can only thank God for watching over me.  For allowing me to survive and once more know the happiness that I had with Danijela and our children.

It doesn't take much for a day to be considered perfect these days, from the moment Joe wakes, and I see his smile it's begun for me.  Some mornings I'll start the coffee, on others Abby will, the other will see to getting Joe up and through his first diaper change.  I tend to feed him breakfast, it's our time together, and while I love watching him grow, with each day of new growth also comes more independence, and I know too quickly he'll be feeding himself, and this special time will soon be lost to us.

On a perfect day, neither Abby or I would be scheduled to work and the two of us could take Joe to the park, or to the zoo, or simply spend time together with him as a family.  The family I thought I would never again know.

I admit that there are times when I worry about something happening, especially knowing how close Curtis Ames got to Abby and Joe in his efforts to reach me, and I know that fear will likely grow as Joe's age inches closer and closer to Marko's.  I don't think my fear is unreasonable, and I am determined not to let it steal anymore time from my life then I've already lost to my own self-guilt and destruction.

I want Joe and Abby to know a life full of memories of perfect days, not ones of fear or sadness, and whatever it takes to make that happen I'm willing to do. I think we're off to a good start and I see no reason to think it can only get better for us.