I remember the feeling eating at me as Joe and I stood there in the street watching Abby drive away from us on that night she had decided to enter Rehab. I didn't know then just how bad things had gotten for her while I had been away nursing my dying father. I didn't know then that she had not only cheated on me, but that she had put our son's life in danger, these were things I would learn much later. All I knew that night was that in her mind, because I had chosen to go to my Father's side when I learned of his illness, because I had stayed longer then I'd intended, she had decided that the only way she could get by was by drinking.
I wish I could say I understood how it was my fault that she choose to drink while I was gone, how she could possibly use my being at my dying father's bedside as an excuse to sleep with her boss, but I can't. I don't know that I ever will understand how she made that leap in her mind. It wasn't like I had a choice over where I wanted to be. How she could possibly believe I could choose to miss six months of time with she and Joe. My father was dying, I'm a doctor, I couldn't ignore that, I couldn't just walk away from him and go back to my family and wait for the phone call I knew would come sooner rather then later.
It had been years since I'd seen my father, when I'd left Croatia after the war, it had created a rift between my brother Niko and I that I know my father was sure would never be healed. I had to go back not just for him, but to try and fix those things before it was too late. I'd have given anything if Abby and Joe could have been there with me, as it was that wasn't possible, but, it didn't justify what she did, not to me or our family.
I can't undo any of what has happened all we can do now is struggle to repair the damage and hopefully we'll come out with a stronger marriage for our efforts. I love my wife, and as difficult as it is for me to accept what she did, I can forgive her, trusting her again may take a little longer.