How am I? That is the big question isn't it? My father has just died and I wasn't there with him because I decided to leave his side to go to my wife and son who I had neglected for the six months I was with him. In the time I'd been gone, I find out that my wife had begun drinking again, she'd put our son's life in danger at least once, and she'd betrayed our vows by sleeping with her boss. If it were possible for me to ignore all of those things, I'm also coping with having had to return to Croatia with my son to bury my father while my wife entered rehab. When we came back to the States I thought that space to think would be enough for me to come to terms with everything, but that wasn't the key, I can't run away from this, Abby and Joe mean too much.
So, back to the question, how am I? I'm hurt, and wounded, I feel betrayed, and at the same time ashamed. I know there should have been a way for me to be there for both my father and my wife and son, I just didn't see it, and I'm not even sure I see it now. I don't want to lose this family and I'm afraid that unless I find a way to fix this Abby might just decide to leave us, and I know I couldn't survive that loneliness again. You tell me, how should I be?
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