Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Prompt 37.1. What have you changed?/ On The Couch
Nothing, and everything, at times I wonder. I start to think that I've figured things out, that I've done what I need to do in order to get my life back on track and then something else happens to derail it. I'm hoping that this move to Boston that Abby and I have made will be the final step in that process.
There's no denying that we've both made mistakes in our relationship. There's no point in going back and pointing fingers, saying one of us is more responsible than the other, or that what she did was any more destructive then the results of my actions. What would any of that have accomplished except to have caused even more harm than had already been done?
I think that's what made us decide that we had to leave Chicago and all that was tied to our life there. It took some time to make that decision, and it wasn't easy, but, we knew our marriage and what we were building was worth saving and we might not be able to do that with the constant reminders that were there.
Was it the right decision, only time will tell. Leaving Chicago meant more than walking away from our careers, it meant saying good-bye to good friends as well, friends who had seen us through the ups and downs of our relationship even before we knew we wanted to make it forever.
I can't think about leaving though without thinking about those who left before us, some by choice, and some through fate, taken by God's hand whether they were ready to leave or not. Nothing can take away the impact they had on helping us become the people we are today, and if we're lucky we'll find people just as valuable in Boston. People who will guide us as we embark on this next stage of our lives and onto the future we'll be setting in motion for Joe.
Life is all about changes, some good, some bad, and as certain as day turns to night they will always be there. I hope that those Abby and I face in the future will be ones of our choosing made out of desire rather than need, but, if not, then we'll face those as we have faced these lessons, and hopefully we'll learn from them. We can't ask for anything more.