Friday, November 17, 2006

067 Nervous/100 Moods

Title: Joe's Frog
Fandom: ER
Characters: Luka Kovac,
Prompt: Vulnerable
Word Count: 501
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: Contains Spoilers to Reason to Believe.
Summary: Luka deals with a newly received package

I've never felt so nervous, and I don't know what I can do to change the situation.  A package arrived at the hospital yesterday addressed to me, inside was a note from C. A., and Joe's little stuffed frog.  I wanted to throw up, I felt so sick at seeing it, at realizing the implications behind it  I know, I'm not making any sense, I need to explain.

Curtis Ames was a patient who came through the ER, he presented with a variety of symptoms and ended up suffering a stroke while he was there.  He blames me for what happened, he thinks I was negligent, that I didn't do enough, when in fact he refused a treatment that might have helped him even though it held some risks of it's own. So he became obsessed with suing me, he lost his job, his wife took his children and left him, he lost his home, and he blames me for everything.  When I won the lawsuit I thought things would go back to how they had been, I guess I was wrong.  Then the other day, I ran into him at the hospital again, and he told me he was going to appeal, I don't know what he hopes to gain from this, but I know I don't want Abby worrying about it. 

A few days ago Abby said she couldn't find Joe's favorite little stuffed frog, we tore the apartment apart trying to find it, but couldn't find it anywhere.  Then today, it arrives at County, sent to me by Ames. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.  How long has he been stalking them, watching everything they do? I don't want that man near Abby, and I definitely don't want him near my son. 

I showed the envelope to the police, they didn't think it was anything to worry about, but how can I not worry?  How close was he to my son?  He knew his name, he knew the toy was his, do I have to wait for him to take him before anyone will do anything?  I won't let that happen, I won't lose him, I can't lose him.

I almost told Abby about it, I took it with me to Ikes, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I can't have her worrying the way I am. I threw him away in the trashcan outside, Joe's frog. There was just something about the idea of him touching it after Ames had done whatever he might have done to it.  No, I just couldn't handle the thought of that, so I threw it away.

I think for now I'm going to keep this to myself.  I want Abby to enjoy this time with Joe, I don't want her memories of his childhood to be spoiled by fear for his safety, the way mine for Jasna and Marko were.  In time I may have to say something, but not yet, not yet. 

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