I wish that I were anywhere but on this plane right now, I know my head certainly isn't into preparing for a job interview, but, it's too late to cancel so, on to Boston I go. In truth I'd rather be at Ike's with Abby and our friends and co-workers from County, I owe that much to Greg after all the years I've called him friend. Then again, I know that I couldn't have handled listening to all the stories of how he has touched everyone without numbing myself first with far more beer than is healthy.
Even now I find myself wanting to signal the stewardess as the feelings start to pull my thoughts places I'd rather they not go. Just like that, Greg's gone and with him, all of his hopes and dreams for the future, why? Why him? What did he do to deserve having his life cut short? I still don't believe it, but, there is no denying that it was his name on the headstone. Seeing his brother, his father, hearing the words of the Priest as he offered the eulogy as tribute to the life ended far too early. Maybe if I had seen him with my own eyes it would be easier for me to accept, then again, I've watched what that's done to Abby. I've listened to her describe the effect it's had on all of those who tried and failed to save Pratt's life. Would I really have wanted his blood on my hands? It's times like this that I truly struggle with my faith. He had so much to give, so much good to offer, why him? It just doesn't seem real.
I can't stop thinking about the last time I saw him, about how happy he was, everything was finally coming together for him, both in his career and his personal life. He was so excited about applying for the position as Chief of the ER, and I know he would have been perfect for the job. I think about how far he had come from his first days at County, and where he was on that last day when I saw him, it was like night and day. So, why did this have to happen now?
I should try and reach his brother, I can only imagine what this is doing to Chaz right now. All the years they never knew the other existed and just as they are beginning to really know each other, Greg is taken away from him. I know he is going to need someone to be there for him, someone to step in and mentor him as his brother would have. Do I dare offer myself as that substitute?
Oh, God,I need a drink, or two, or three. I should have stayed home with Abby, I should have been there for those who needed to talk instead of here. I hate that this might now be seen as running away, then again maybe it is. Chicago holds too many memories, too much sadness, too much pain, too much loss, not just Pratt, but, Gallant, The Bishop, Carter, Carol, too many others to count. As much as I hate to admit it, we need a fresh start, a new beginning to our lives, just Abby, Joe, and I.
So, Greg, I'll miss you my friend, but, remember, in the words of my father, "we part only to meet again," so be sure and keep the beers chilled.