As I lay here watching Abby sleep I find myself wishing I could take her and Joe back to Croatia. Maybe it was talking to my father on the phone after the wedding and realizing how much I missed seeing him, or maybe it was something in his voice that wasn't said. I just know it's been too long since I was back, and I find myself longing for too many things. From the sound of my own language in my ear as I pass people on the street, to the smells of the sea as I sit on the pebbled shore and watch the sunset, it's calling me back.
When I left all those years ago I was sure I would never go back, the only memories it let me see then were ones of sadness and loss. But time has a way of healing things, even when you don't want to believe it possible and gradually I've begun to remember the good times more then the bad. I want Joe to know his Grandfather, to experience the joys I knew as a child, and maybe too, it's time I go back to the one place I never thought I would visit again.
I think it's important for Abby and Joe to see Vukovar, to walk the streets that were so key to making me who I am. I want to show them where I once thought my life had ended, the places where our apartment and the hospital stood. More importantly, I want to take them to the cemetery, I need them to meet those who meant so much to me and who I've finally been able to put to rest after all of these years.
It's time...it's time.