Wednesday, June 8, 2005

In The Wee Wee Hours

The entire Africa arc seemed to motivate me to do quite a bit of writing some of the pieces were little one shots that were springboards directly off the episode's scenes, others were tangents Mel and I wrote through our rpg alternate universe. You'll find the secondary link there to our archive of another 1400+ more posts and we always need more writers so feel free to register to play.  Anyway, having posted the first of thes stories I thought I'd go ahead and post a few more...

In The Wee Wee Hours
By J.D.

An ER Fanfic

(spoilers to the ER episode Kisangani)

How had she allowed herself to grow so close?  Laying in the darkness of the tent Gillian found herself listening to the sound of Luka's breathing as he slept next to her.  The cot was scarcely big enough to hold them both, but she had longed for this closeness for too many days to complain. 

Pushing herself up on one arm she allowed herself the luxury of watching him sleep.  He had been exhausted when he had shown up at her door, not that he would admit it.  She had wanted to be angry with him, to scream at him for making her worry about whether he was alive or dead, but she couldn't.  He had waited for her to answer, then greeted her with a weary smile that immediately chased the anger away. 

How could she have let him make her feel this way?  There had been flings with every tour, a few nights of comfort that allowed them both to escape, but never had it caused her to feel like this.  As he moaned in his sleep Gillian reached over to brush his damp bangs off of his sweaty forehead.  "Shh..."  She brushed her fingers over his skin her words nonsense, spoken simply to soothe. 

As he once more stilled she found herself looking over him in more detail.  He had lost weight, something they all did, but why did he seem so much thinner then she remembered?  His face held much of his fatigue, dark circles under equally dark lashes, the growth of beard he hadn't even found the energy to shave.  No bruises though, nothing to show he had experienced more then he had admitted to.

That had been her greatest fear when the days had passed with no sign of him.  They all knew therisks, the dangers they opened themselves up to here, and even more so in Matenda.  She moved her hand slowly down his cheek, then to his neck before letting it come to rest on his chest, over his heart.  For several minutes she let her worries fade, her attention on nothing but the rise and fall of her hand as it matched his breathing. 

He'd said nothing of what had happened in Matenda, nothing of his relationship with the new Doctor, Carter, if anything he had grown more quiet, why?  What had drawn him inward?  Was there more between the two then their just working together?  Or was it something even deeper?  Did he feel what she was feeling, realize what it would do to her if anything had happened?  She hadn't dared ask him if the feelings growing within her were ones he shared, she couldn't risk losing him if she was wrong, not after so long of being alone. 

She needed to touch him.  Splaying her fingers she watched the hairs on his chest curl around them.  Never had she imagined that one man could make her feel so many things at one time.  She had always thought herself immune.  Why should things here be any different than they were at home?  But they were different, had been since that first day when he had arrived at Kisangani.

She found herself smiling in the darkness as the memory of that day surfaced. She was used to the shock and fear that came with new arrivals when they first saw the conditions, but there had been none of that with Luka.  No, he was so different then the others, he had simply dropped his bag in the doorway and plunged right in.  She had almost laughed when Angelique threatened to bodily drag him from the clinic after a grueling 12 hours of nonstop work.  Even then he had been unable to sleep, he had begged a cigarette and instead sat listening to the gunfire in the distance. 

That was her signal to approach, she had seen the signs as clearly as if he had spoken the words himself.  He was afraid of sleep, afraid of not staying busy, and she had gone to him, plying him with alcohol and conversation until he could barely hold his eyes open.  She had needed help getting him to his tent afterwards, and even then he fought sleep, what came next came from desperation, perhaps even fear at being alone, but she had wanted it as much as he did in those moments.

So it would continue, some nights they would talk, others they would make love, still others they did nothing more then lay naked in each other's arms as they waited for sleep to find them.  So it had been tonight, she had wanted to be angry, to scream at him for making her worry so much, and he had wanted nothing more then the feel of her next to him.  "Shh...Luka...shh..."  She soothed him again as he shifted restlessly in his sleep, then lay her head on his chest, her cheek over his heart.  At her action she felt him move, and his hand found it's way to her back before stilling again, bringing a smile to her as she lay there.  Neither of them could know where this would go.  Neither could know if this would last.  But for now, in these wee, wee hours it was enough.

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