Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Prompt 85.8 John Beckwith Quote/Couples Therapy

John Beckwith: True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.

I wish I could say that my relationship with my wife represented finding my true love, but, I'd be lying. As hard as it is to admit it, Abby's known from the moment we met that my heart would always belong partially to another. Her name was Danijela, and I loved her from the moment I saw her. Even though it's been 17 years since she died, I still love her, I know I'll always love her, and Abby understands that when I die my final resting place will be at her side with our children.

Danijela was 16 when we first met, or I should say when I first saw her, it took me some time to work up the courage to actually talk to her, but, from that first look she had my heart. I wish I could say that I knew exactly what it was about her that captured it, but I don't. It wasn't just one thing about her, it was everything, from the way she looked to how she interacted with those around her, and then I heard her laugh.

Danijela and I were inseparable, well, with the exception of the time she was in school and I was going through my military service. After we married, nothing outside of my work could keep us apart and I blame that closeness we had partially for why she and our children died. Maybe if we had been apart more she would have left Vukovar when I asked her to, but, the idea of being away from me was too much for her, so she stayed and those final weeks we shared cost us the rest of our lives together.

When we were together it was like we shared the same breath, the same thoughts, we could look at each other and know without speaking when one or the other was worried or had a bad day. I look at my relationship with Abby and I wish we shared a bond like that but, I know that kind of love only happens once in a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I love Abby, I would do anything for her, but, she and I will never have what Danijela and I had, and I know that has to hurt her. So, she accepts what I can give, knowing that I will be there for her, to protect her, and most importantly to love her until death do us part.

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