This isn't easy for me to talk about and it certainly isn't something I'm proud of doing. It happened during a time when I was having some problems and my head wasn't where it should be and instead of talking to someone about it, I was drinking too much, using sex as a way of escaping and I guess trying to live too fast. None of these things were normal for me, but, I had messed up everything in my life that was good, and the people I thought I could count on weren't there for me anymore. I guess I thought that by sleeping around I would feel something, but, even that wasn't really working out the way I meant for it to.
Abby was seeing Carter and I guess I wasn't handling it well, so, I started getting reckless, and I don't mean in how I was treating my patients. It started with my asking out hospital employees, and nurses, I warned them not to expect anything from me but that one night of sex, but, they never really believed I was serious. I suppose it was only a matter of time until it went to the next level, and it did.
She was the mother of one of my patients, she brought her daughter in and we kind of started flirting during the examination. I had to run some tests on the girl and she wanted her mom to get her something to eat, we walked out of the room together and one thing led to another. She left the Janitor's closet before I did, we thought it'd be safer that way, when I opened the door, another doctor, Susan, was standing right there. I fumbled my way through an excuse but, I knew she didn't believe me, I didn't believe me. I knew it was wrong, I was out of control, and it would only get worse before it would get better.