Friday, June 20, 2008

Prompt 235: Show us where you live/Theatrical Muse

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We've decided to leave Chicago, for the sake of our marriage, for the sake of our family, we've decided we have to start fresh.  It wasn't an easy decision, but, when Abby and I sat down and looked at all we had been through, when we looked at where we were with our marriage and our lives, and where we wanted to be, we realized we had no choice.  If there was going to be any hope for us moving past the things that had happened over this last year, we have to to start over again. 

I'm not exactly sure how we decided on Boston, though now that we have I find myself looking forward to it.  Before that can happen, we must first say good-bye to things here in Chicago, and that means packing up the apartment and saying good-bye to the friends we've made while working at County.

I've been in Chicago for almost 9 years, and in that time I've only lived three places, when I first arrived I was what they called a "moonlighter." I worked at County only when they were short a doctor and I lived on a boat, as the weather turned, I pulled up anchor, and like the birds, I headed south. I think in a way, it allowed me in those early years I was in the States, to keep a connection to some of the happier memories I had of life back in Croatia.

When I made the decision to settle permanently in Chicago, and sold the boat, I moved into one of the downtown hotels, which seems strange to most people, but, for me it was a good deal.  In exchange for me acting as an in house doctor for any guests or staff who needed one, and they gave me a discounted room rate.  So, being single, I got not just a place to stay, but, room, maid, and laundry services. It seemed like a perfect arrangement for both of us.

When I first found the apartment we have now it was just a huge empty space.  I remember when I the first real furnishings I bought for it in fact were my Sony Play Station and a large aquarium, coincidentally, it was also at that same time that Abby and I broke up the first time we were dating.  In a way I think I used the renovation of the apartment as a means for me to keep distracted, but, it didn't work real well, and I went through some very dark times in that year including my making the decision to go to the Congo, which almost cost me my life.

I don't think their would ever be any doubt that the two bedroom apartment was decorated by a man, it's colors are mostly earth tones, and it leans heavily to dark greens. Except for the short period of time that first Nicole, then Sam and Alex stayed here, I'd always lived here alone. I opened my door to Abby the first time before we started seeing each other again. When one of her neighbors attacked her and she didn't feel safe in her own apartment, it made sense for me to me to make the offer, but, it wasn't until she'd broken up with Carter, and I with Sam that she started spending more time here again.  As we became more serious and she learned she was pregnant, it  seemed like the right time for Abby to move into my apartment and in time Neela moved into hers.

Now though, it's time to let it go, it's time for us to let all of this go.  There are too many things here that we both need to forget and we can't do that if we are constantly surrounded by reminders of the mistakes we've made. I can't say I won't miss the apartment, it's been my first real home since the one I had with Danijela all those years ago, but this one was always mine, and now it's time that Abby and I got one that is ours.  Yeah, it's more then time.

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