Prompt 19.2: My partner will always have to understand that I..../Couples Therapy

My partner will always have to understand that I....will always love Danijela.

This has always been a sore spot between Abby and I, in fact, I have no doubt that it was one of the key reasons behind our breaking up the first time we were together. I know that Abby wanted to be sympathetic the loss of my family, even if it was a subject we only tiptoed around in the time we were first together. In fact when we were hurling insults at each other, one of the worst things she could think to say to me, was that I was married to a ghost.  In a way, I wonder if she wasn't right.

I rarely spoke of my family to anyone, and in my first two years at County, I could count on one hand the number of people who knew any specific details of Danijela or our children.  Sure, in time, people knew I'd lost my wife and that I'd lost children as well, but few knew the details, and even fewer would dare to ask me anything about them.

Danijela was my first love.  We met when she was just 16, and we both knew that we would one day marry.  We had two years to get to know each other, and when she turned 18 with our parent's blessings, we married. I have no doubt that had the war not taken Danijela and our children from me, we would still be married, we would have watched our children grow, and shared their joy as they found their first loves.  We weren't given that chance though, and while they were ripped away from me, my love for them, for Danijela, remains.

Abby's initial reaction was not an isolated one, I went through the same thing, if not worse when I dated Sam, and in the end, she too found it too much. Things with Abby this time are better though, and while we don't talk often about Danijela and our children, I no longer feel like I have to keep everything to myself.  It's a start, and as with anything else, we can only hope things will continue to get better for us as time goes on.