Night/Theatrical Muse Challenge

I can't get Curtis Ames out of my head. It's not so bad during the day, even though I can't work yet, I have Joe to keep me distracted, but, even that isn't a guarantee of safety. There are so many things I can't do for him because of what Ames did to my hand. Little things like changing his diaper, or giving him a bath, even dressing him is beyond me. What kind of father can I be to him if I can't take care of his most basic needs? But, at least I have his company and in those moments when I'm watching him I know that I won't be thinking of Ames.

It's when night comes that things fall apart, when Joe and Abby are asleep and I lay awake, reliving all that he put me through. There are times when it feels like I'm watching a movie, when the night plays out in slow motion and nothing I can do will allow me to put it on pause. Those are the nights when the pain from my hand is as intense as the night it was crushed, those are the nights when I don't dare attempt to sleep.

I thought at first I might be able to use sleep as a means of escape. I thought that the pills they gave me for the pain would chase the memories away, or at least blur them enough that I could hide from them. But, I was wrong, so very wrong. The escape the pills give me from the pain seem only to act as a beacon for Ames, and when I close my eyes he is there, taunting me, threatening, and no matter how the dream begins, it always ends with my scream as the vice crushes my hand.

I wonder how long it will be before he stops coming. Then again, what if he never stops, what if this is how I'm forced to live the rest of my life? No, I can't let him control my life but, at the same time, I don't know how to make him stop. How do you stop someone who isn't even alive?