As I lay here watching Abby sleep I find myself wishing I could take her and Joe back to Croatia. Maybe it was talking to my father on the phone after the wedding and realizing how much I missed seeing him, or maybe it was something in his voice that wasn't said. I just know it's been too long since I was back, and I find myself longing for too many things. From the sound of my own language in my ear as I pass people on the street, to the smells of the sea as I sit on the pebbled shore and watch the sunset, it's calling me back.
When I left all those years ago I was sure I would never go back, the only memories it let me see then were ones of sadness and loss. But time has a way of healing things, even when you don't want to believe it possible and gradually I've begun to remember the good times more then the bad. I want Joe to know his Grandfather, to experience the joys I knew as a child, and maybe too, it's time I go back to the one place I never thought I would visit again.
I think it's important for Abby and Joe to see Vukovar, to walk the streets that were so key to making me who I am. I want to show them where I once thought my life had ended, the places where our apartment and the hospital stood. More importantly, I want to take them to the cemetery, I need them to meet those who meant so much to me and who I've finally been able to put to rest after all of these years.
It's time...it's time.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
May 005:Sea/Artistic License
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