I was raised to do as I was told, maybe it's because of where I come from, maybe because I was raised Catholic. It's hard to say exactly why I was how I was, I just know for most of my life I knew better than to question authority.
I wonder how different my life might have been had I not always done what was expected, if I'd acted on impulse. But, I hadn't, unless you count those few months that Danijela and I saw each other in secret as we waited for the right moment to tell her parents of our wish to be married.
I can't help but wonder how different our life would have been had I not done what was expected, had I rebelled, and left Vukovar and my residency at the first signs of trouble. Would my family have been spared?
I know my father considered my decision to leave the church an act of rebellion, but to me it was something else. To me it was more the inability to believe in someone, something that could be so heartless. How was I supposed to feel love for the very thing that had stripped me of those who were the most important to me.
When I think of rebellion though, I think of the day that Carter stood up for what he felt was right, the safety of those in the ER. It wasn't just about the staff, but the patients as well and when Weaver fought him on getting metal detectors he convinced us that a walk-out was the only thing to do. Despite the personal problems we had between us at the time, I had to agree he was right, it had happened too many times, talk hadn't worked in the past and it wouldn't have worked then, but the strike did. Funny thing is, if it hadn't I think he would have probably followed through on his threat to pay for the machines out of his own pocket.
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